Back in the saddle

Ok, I fell of the wagon. Then, I got run over by the wagon.

It’s been bad. Real bad.

Three days ago, I hopped back on.

Honestly? I don’t know if I gained. I don’t think I did. Not too much. (Living on the truck; there’s really no room for a scale and so I only weigh myself when we go home… and we haven’t been there in about 7 weeks…)

But, I’m back at it. With a different attitude than before. I can’t really explain it; but my mind set is in a different place.

For three days, I have successfully controled my hunger. My binging. I’ve eaten healthy; avoid junk. No bad, sneaking snacks.

So tha’ts that. I’m back on the wagon. Back in the Saddle.

Also; thought I’d post a “current” photo! (It’s about 2 weeks old…) So; somewhere around 200 pounds! Size 17!! (I just tried them on in the fitting room; bought a ton of outfits in NORMAL size clothes!! No “Womens” for me!)
Progress May 2009


Hello old friend

Dear Fat Girl Blog,

I am so so so so so so so sorry that I have neglected you.  It was never my intention to drop you by the wayside, and I feel horrible for it. You see, recently an old blog friend came into my life and I have been spending my few free blogging minutes with her. We were doing all sorts of healthy things together, like a trip to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo! (Where you are literally hiking up a mountain to get to the next exhibit!!) I also was exploring the daredevil in me, my husband convinced me to buy a motorcycle (for him) and then I decided since I spent so much darn $$$$ on it, I was going to learn to ride it. (Don’t worry though, I have ordered my helmet!) 

I desperately want to apologize for neglecting you, I promise never to do that again. After all, you are truly my bestest friend in my weight loss journey.

You should be proud of me though! At my weigh in today, I hit 200 pounds! So next week at my weigh in, I should be in “Onederland!!!” Also, as of today it’s 13 days without a single drop of soda!

Until next time, (which should be soon!)

Fat Girl


Goodbye, my old friend

I mad a big step yesterday.

I gave up soda. Just cold turkey. No more.

I’d been justifying it for awhile, that it was diet. But honestly? I don’t want my little girl to get into the habit of always needing soda. (I would much rather she never drinks it at all!)

So… wish me luck! (Since soda was my only caffiene; I am a bit nervous about withdrawl headaches!)

Lacking Motivation

I am really REALLY lacking motivation lately.

Like today? I had a cookie for breakfast. (8 points! So it was a GIANT cookie!) I had two little debbie snacks as a treat. (I don’t even know the points. I quit counting.)

I know the last few days I’ve been within my points. But I know it hasn’t been easy. I haven’t counted.

So tomorrow is my weigh day. And I’m being a wuss. I’m not holding myself accountable. I’m not weighing in.

But… tomorrow? I’m back on track. I’m logging. I’m exercising. I’m blogging. I am motivated. I am accountable.
Three Hundred Forty Six

I was looking through photos this week, and found one of my husband. Right after he’d lost all his weight. A photo he’d probably divorce me for posting on the internet! (Shhh! He’ll never know!)

I’ve decided that when I finally lose enough weight? I want an embarassing photo of me!

The me I used to be

Crackbook  er…Facebook has been eye opening for me weight loss wise. It’s been a struggle actually.

If you follow me on facebook then you know that I rarely post anything other than a face shot… unless someone is blocking me!

The reason for this? I used to be skinny. And when I was skinny? I thought I was fat. (Like the photo there? I was about 140 and I almost refused to take that photo for my Sr. Portrait because I was too fat!)

I love facebook. Mostly because I’ve reconnected with so many friends from right after high school. (I’ve often said that the best time of my life before becoming a mom was the years I worked at Summer Camp, so finding those people has been a dream come true!)

But I’m embarassed. Horrified that the girl they knew, the “Fat Girl” who weighed 140, 150, eep! Even 160 was now really, truly a FAT GIRL!


Today I was “Friended” by a girl who had been one of my best friends the two years after high school. (My Pre-Colorado years; before I gained all my weight!) I was looking at her photo album and I found myslef in awe. I remember when she was the Fat Girl in our group… when she joined Weight Watchers (which apparently, it worked for her!) and I was ashamed of myself for how I’d thought she used to be so overweight.

Now? I’m thinking to myself “Geez, I wish I could get to where she was when she was fat!! At that point? I’d be thin!”

I guess what I’m getting at is that I’m finding facebook inspiring. It’s making me want to push on with my weight loss. Be a better person. Be the me I used to be.

Maybe then I can go to a reunion with my old friends!

A Pink Leather Jacket

PhotobucketI’ve decided I need to reward myself. But this post is about so much more than just rewards, because each reward is a goal in itself. Something I’ve wanted to do, but the Fat Girl in me just can’t do it. I’m too fat. Not “hip” enough. Whatever.

So this is my list of things I’m going to reward myself with. Things I’m going to do when I get skinny!

When I get Skinny, I am going to…

  1. Get a makeover at the mall (including learning to wear makeup, buying makeup, etc)
  2. Wear a pair of heels with jeans
  3. Buy my ferrari handbag
  4. Purchase a SUPER cute Motorcycle Jacket (For the motorcycle that Hubby is buying in 2 weeks)
  5. Spend a day at the spa
  6. Dye my hair (something funky)
  7. Get a tattoo (this is a “maybe” )